What schools should have taught!

Maths. Physics. Chemistry. Biology. History. Geography. All the other nonsense you studied at school, are you using any of these subjects in your real life? No na? You tell me one time, just one time where you have used trigonometry after the board exam? If you are not using any subject from school in real life means, isnt it a waste of 15 yrs na?

Agreed boss, knowledge is important for all of us. But why so much importance you are giving to school I don’t understand. Best is the politician fellows. They dominate every aspect of our society yet they have no schooling, but working knowledge of society. And yet you want to go to school. Mental or what?

See boss, dont send your kid to schools. What kids, no girl friend only? Like that you will ask. Boss, I will tell you what you should have learnt instead of spending 15 stupid years at school. You will never ask such silly things.

First, Bird hunting : what you think? See boss bird here means young appropriate girls, not some chicken or common indian myna. All our forefathers were schooled or what? Didn’t they still find birds. Just because you studied well and are in a good job means you dont get birds. These birds are strange creatures which dont know what they want and you think with money and good education you could impress them. I know you guys are touching 30, still single and incapable of hunting a bird go wear leaves and live like a sanyasi na?

Second, Driving : What nonsense man, people on the road are like monkeys. Are you deaf? No seriously. Before you get on the vehicle, you leave your brains outside is it? What is the reason for your honking? You think that once you honk, all the vehicles in front of you will vanish is it? City speed limit is there. Overtaking limit is there. Lane limit is there. That and all you don’t care. If it seems like an iota of space in the road and you sneak even if there is not space for you. That’s all no? Idiot.

Third, Mating : Historically we were walking around naked. Didnt they put dirty sculptures in the temples? Didn’t they know that in the future kids will come and look at them and ask nonsense questions to their mothers? I know you what all circus you did to understand how to make 3 humans from 2 in school only, these poor parents have no idea. Then doing unmentionable things in their bedrooms. Secretly, You were also doing all of these things? Yes na? Then why this hypocrisy? For human race to survive you should know this na?

Lastly, Common Sense: Excuse me clever guy, why you want to put so much scene? Whenever others suggest to do something useful, then only you will have all sorts of problem in this world. ‘Oh no, there is so much to do. I have to work, press my wifes legs, email my ex school girl friend, go to hell and come back by tomorrow morning..’ . Some nonsense reason you will give. One time two times is ok, always some stupid reason you give? You say you are busy with this, busy with that, but somehow you will find all the time in the world to update status messages, including your bloody latitude and longitude, in all the social networking websites. And still you act as if the whole earth is rotating on your head.

{inspired from Local tea party blog}

Mr. Paul Cavalanchi, Who?

Knock Knock (at the door) and I opened the door to a stranger, but he didnt enter and started speaking.....

Stranger: Pal
Me: who Paul?
Stranger: this is D1 right?
Me: yes
Stranger: Pal kavali anchi phon......
Me: Paul Cavalanchi, no idea who he is .. but he doesnt stay here....
Stranger: you have no idea what I am talking about (and he leaves)

My brother who was silently listening to all this tell me that its pal kavali anchi (you had requested milk to be delivered)..... What a SNAFU moment!